jesus is driving me to drink...

and i think he's had a couple himself.

blogger seriously takes too long. i am so impatient.

so there are these missionaries they are young and excitable. like puppies. they play their guitars and attempt harmonization and write worship songs. and they do this in the only common area in the house. i don't know why it irritates me so much (maybe it was because i was at the really good dramatic part of reading the last king of scotland) but i was so rage-filled i had to take a sleeping pill and call it a day.

i heart everything else about africa. crafting, sitting, being fed beans and posho. but the ubiquitousness of jesus music is driving me up the wall. in the internet cafe they just played some sweet brazilian samba song (i think it was black eyed peas) i was grooving out looking at micro-finance banking. and then there was this horrible transition to acoustic chorusy..."I'm gonna give my heart to Jesus, you're the one good reason" and it just makes me cringe. the computer doesn't work anymore. i don't know if its the comp or the charger, but repair guy in this town has ever touched an apple. so its under the bed doing what it does best.

i'm ok with jesus. i'm ok with the bible. i'm ok with people talking about jesus and the bible and beginning sentences with "It says in the bible that jesus...." i've even led some prayers.

so maybe i'm just missing my independent domesticity. sitting and staring at the ocean and hauling wood and my crock pot and crossword puzzles...it was so quiet and atheistic. . (although i find a good one the other day...clue: 177 reasons to invade iraq (3 letters) answer: oil)

i'm having a major craving for sitting in a bar and bullshitting with english speaking people that can talk their way into a political debate and have opinons that don't include in the book of ___ verse ___ chapter ____. (they're playing 'angel of the morning' and all the african men are singing along quietly at their computers)

oh brown teeth. i want some long beaches and a long snowy walk home in the dark looking at the stars. and long walks on the beach. the previous statement should in no way indicate that i have any affinity toward snow, darkness or any combination thereof. my sweating index has decreased significantly and i am very proud of that.

i heart the roomies. they are so committed and flexible and hard-working and honest and compassionate and funny. i guess i just have to own my own irritation... and have some more passionfruit and vodkas. maybe i'll try to find some brazilian music.